The People of the Burger

In this National Cheeseburger Day let me tell you a story, child: the story of the People of the Burger. The People of the Burger love the burger but hate the cows... and the chicken, and the pig, and the turkey, and the goat... Their stand on the lamb changes from time to time, though.

The People of the Burger believe there’s only One True Burger: the one you make with the meat of cows, even though cows are evil and want to control the world. So hate the cow and love The Burger. And they would not hear otherwise because only those who have eaten The Burger understand The Burger.

Now, my child, a Recipe Book for The Burger exists, and, yet, the People of the Burger choose based on their culinary inspiration what ingredients to use. They would tell you that those are the only ingredients you really need, no matter how old-fashioned and hard to find they might seem to those awakening to flavor and cooking skills. Then there’s the CHEESE. The One True Burger only uses AMERICAN CHEESE. If you try to use any other cheese, you are not eating the One True Burger.

My child, you might think the People of the Burger only cook in their houses and enjoy the fruits of the fiercely guarded knowledge of the flavor and deliciousness of the One True Burger with their family and friends. Nothing is further from the truth. Some go from door to door giving you their own variation of the ingredients of the Recipe Book; others build huge restaurants, where they feed you (for a donation, of course, the One True Burger doesn’t cook itself, right?) their understanding of how to achieve the One True Burger. Others get upset if they see you eating something other than burgers, or burgers made of strange meats, or putting meats that are not supposed to go together no matter what you’re cooking. Sometimes they get so upset about others not eating the way they want you to eat that they get aggressive, even murderous at times.

It’s a sad state of affairs for the People of the Burger because people are starting to see other ways of eating and enjoying the flavors of life without the need for the One True Burger, and they are using everything they have in their power, and they have People of the Burger (or those who seem to follow the Recipe Book...) in high places around the world, to make others only consume the One True Burger (and the variation of the ingredients from the Recipe Book that suits them at the time obviously).

And the People of the Burger tell you that once you understand how to achieve the One True Burger, you get prizes. Yes, my child, there are prizes at the end of your burger-infused journey. But the prize (and way to collect it) also changes according to the style of achieving the One True Burger in each humongous (or modest, they also do their thing, why not?) restaurant. Some restaurants tell you you’ll get there in groups by air. Others tell you that you need to wait until the last day of your journey, and if you have achieved and consumed enough One True Burgers you get to vacation with all expenses paid in a place full of light and music, hanging out with (and of course enjoying) the One True Burger.

The story of the People of the Burger, my child, is a great but also sad story; they cannot understand that there are many ways to nourish your body. The One True Burger is only one of those, and I honestly hope for the sake of all living and eating beings that they understand and accept that MANY-FLAVORED TRUTH one day.


#nationalcheeseburgerday
#people #recipe #book #storytime #truth #manytruths #humanity
#writer #author #loveall #respect #decency #gabbodelaparra